i permit you to call me
I hate all girls vehemently.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Randomize
