That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
