The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
one might say we're banned from that church
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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