found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize