Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
