i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
