Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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