I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Operation Purity has been aborted
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
