maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize