Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
