i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
