wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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