just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
