he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize