Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
