Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
