i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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