dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
