I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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