They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
