I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
