I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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