the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
