she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize