can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
