oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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