I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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