I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
