twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
