He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
