After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
