Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize