Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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