I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize