He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
