erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
