No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
