You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
