My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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