smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
