Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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