I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish my penis had a tongue
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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