i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
