a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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