Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize