Please, let me fuck your mom
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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