Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize