No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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