i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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