I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
