its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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