What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
