I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize