You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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