I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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